You know those beautiful wedding vows said to each other before God and your family and friends when you marry the man of your dreams? (Or woman of your dreams to all of my husband readers out there). Do you remember how you vowed to accept children lovingly from God? How you committed to love your spouse through the hardest times and the best of times? In sickness and in health? In every situation possible – the same exact way God loves us.
Did you know that sex is the wedding vows in flesh form?
That is how God created it-what amazing news! God created sex so that every husband and wife who come together in the marital embrace can renew those vows to each other as many times as they want, in the most beautiful, life-giving way possible. He created sex as an incredible, special, personal bond to be shared between husband and wife.
And every time they come together, God wants them to say to each other, “I give myself to you. All of me, forever.”
I want to address two things in this post, two things God has put VERY heavily on my heart. It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out how to approach for probably 6 months now.
I want to share my experience of God’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and promises in these two areas. And then I want to explain the beautiful, good news of God’s reasoning for what He requests of us – the why.
Living on both ends of the spectrum in each issue, I can relate to many of you and want to tell you how much love there is for you when you search for God and honor Him in your single life and in your marriage.
I want to tell you the Good News about Sex & Marriage.
In the Beginning…
Matrimony, or marriage, was a gift God gave mankind since the very beginning.
In Genesis, once Eve was created for Adam, Adam joyfully exclaimed, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” (Gen 2:23). They were so joyful and naked and unashamed. They lived out completely pure love!
Then, the serpent told Eve God was hiding information from them and He didn’t want them to become knowledgeable, like Him. The serpent tempted that one bite from that beautiful apple would give her and her husband wisdom, it would open their eyes, and give them the ability to know good and evil. When she took a bite, and gave her husband a bite, suddenly they became aware that they were naked and they became ashamed and tried to hide their nakedness.
Why? Why all of a sudden?
It was because sin had entered into the world through their disobedience and lust had entered into their hearts for the first time. They didn’t cover their bodies because their bodies were bad! They covered them because they were SO GOOD that they felt they had to protect themselves from the lust the other had.
These two went from freely, totally, fruitfully, and faithfully loving and giving themselves to each other to protecting themselves from lustful thoughts and blaming each other for their problems (sound familiar?). When God asked them, “Who told you that you were naked?” Adam blurted out, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.” (Gen 3:12)
Satan was so incredibly jealous of man and woman, made in the image of God, and of the incredible gift of life-giving sex, that he attacked it.
Adam and Eve had the free will to choose to listen to the serpent, even though God told them not to eat from that one tree in their paradise in the Garden of Eden. They freely chose sin and separation from God. The God who was so close; the God they walked and talked with, was now One they could only see from behind the clouds and veil of sin. That’s what sin is – choosing the separation from God and even an absence of God in our lives. And when there is an absence of God in sex, there is complete chaos.
What Does a Married Couple Say Through Sex?
Because sex is intended as the wedding vows in flesh form, you can only imagine how harmful it is to our souls when someone gives themselves away before marriage with no wedding vows to renew. It joins the rib (body and soul) to one who was never meant to have it. And it makes an unintended imprint on the soul that is carried into the sacred marriage bed.
When I have sex with my husband, God wants me to say with my body, “I give myself to you, all of myself, completely and totally,” because that is what I verbalized when I stood at the altar with my husband and committed my life to him. It’s such a beautiful thing that God created, because He is a GOOD Father and only good comes from Him.
When we have sex outside of marriage, it can’t be good because it is outside of God’s plan. The serpent continues to lie and whether we are aware of the lie that the serpent has rampantly spread in our society regarding sex or not, we are responsible for the damage done to their soul and to ours.
Having sex within marriage needs to say, “I give myself to you, ALL of myself, completely, freely, and totally.” There are ways to have sex within marriage without saying this as well and it can be detrimental to a marriage. And unfortunately, it’s more common than we think.
Casual sex is the world’s view on sex, not God’s view.
Contraception is the world’s view on children, not God’s view.
When we go by the world’s view of things, we are hurt, and we hurt others. There is sin and there is separation from God. There are any number of other consequences within ourselves when we chose to separate ourselves from God’s perfect will.
Praise the Lord that He is a forgiving Father! When we confess our sins, are repentant, and we ask forgiveness, promising to truly try and never do that sin again, God knows our hearts and He will welcome us back into His loving arms! (Read the story of the Prodigal Son here, Luke 15:11-32)
I experienced that separation from God because I had sex before marriage. And I’ve also experienced God’s mercy and forgiveness and the joy that comes with honoring God in my marriage.
I need to share my experience with you because I truly believe God wants me to. It’s the same bubbling over feeling I’ve had about other things in the past-I just can’t keep it to myself because it’s GOOD NEWS!
**The Wedding Vows Made Flesh: My Testimony, Part 2, can be found here.
You can find this post on the Salt & Light Link Up.